for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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