You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
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high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
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Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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