our cab driver is having phone sex.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
