that's an acceptable place to lick
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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