so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
