Im at strip club and am horny
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
