whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
