I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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