$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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