i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
