I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
