all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
