who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just threw up on my dentist
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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