i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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