Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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