I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
