He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
