im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize