why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
