We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
