i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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