You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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