She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
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