So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
