I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
