bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
