Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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