There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
is wine microwaveable?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
The air taste purple.
Randomize
