i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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