so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
