and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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