where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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