he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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