I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
