yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
