the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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