I feel great
I just peed on a car
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
