I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
