My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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