Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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