You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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