Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I am naked and annoyed.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize