i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
