Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
i out mim tonsoeep
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
