smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize