mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
wanna go halves on a baby?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Randomize