My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Never let your siblings swipe right.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
