you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
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