I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
