Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
