i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
