He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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