His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
