She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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