I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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