Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
