Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
