That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
She has the best kind of daddy issues
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
