direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
