I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
